Pendant 38 ans, Lawrence a consommé des drogues dures pour essayer d’oublier un traumatisme sexuel dont il a été victime lorsqu’il était jeune.

La souffrance en silence

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Pendant 38 ans, Lawrence a consommé des drogues dures pour essayer d’oublier un traumatisme sexuel dont il a été victime lorsqu’il était jeune. En décembre 2018, il a terminé avec succès un programme de traitement de la toxicomanie de l’Armée du Salut à Ottawa. « Je suis heureux d’avoir décidé de m’inscrire à ce programme, indique Lawrence. Je devais changer ma vie. »

Lawrence n’avait que quatre ans lorsque ses parents ont divorcé, un événement qui a grandement ébranlé son estime de soi et son sentiment de sécurité. De six à douze ans, il a été victime de sévices de la part d’une personne qui le gardait ainsi que d’un membre de la famille. Il a souffert en silence, et cela a eu de graves conséquences à long terme.

« Je me souviens du jour où j’ai pris l’autobus et dit au revoir à mon père qui était sur le balcon, témoigne Lawrence. Je croyais que ma mère et moi partions simplement en vacances ensemble, mais nous ne sommes jamais retournés à la maison. Les sévices sexuels ont débuté peu de temps après. J’ai commencé à prendre de la drogue pour tenter d’effacer ces expériences de ma mémoire. J’ai commis des vols, j’ai menti et j’étais en colère. J’ai d’ailleurs été si loin dans mes agissements que ma famille voulait que ma mère m’inscrive dans une école de réforme pour garçons dirigée par des catholiques. Elle ne l’a pas fait, mais je lui causais continuellement des problèmes. »

Lawrence a travaillé comme cuisinier pendant 30 ans, et ce, malgré sa toxicomanie. Sa dépendance aux drogues est devenue un mécanisme de défense, car, toute sa vie, il a eu l’impression que le risque qu’on lui fasse du mal de nouveau était présent. Cette vie l’a aussi mené à commettre des agressions et des vols.

« J’ai régulièrement fait des séjours en prison pendant 15 ans, mentionne Lawrence. Ma façon de mener ma vie m’a coûté mon mariage et ma famille. »

En 2018, Lawrence a été incarcéré pour voies de fait. Il a ensuite essayé de se pendre, mais sa tentative de suicide a échoué.

« C’est en prison que j’ai appris l’existence d’un programme de traitement de la toxicomanie au Centre Booth de l’Armée du Salut. J’ai d’abord pensé que je n’y arriverais pas », raconte Lawrence.

L’Ancrage est un programme de traitement de la toxicomanie destiné aux hommes et offert en établissement. Il donne l’occasion à ces derniers de traiter leurs dépendances aux drogues et à l’alcool. Ce programme, qui comprend des séances quotidiennes de thérapie, a été conçu pour aider les gens à déterminer les caractéristiques fondamentales de leur consommation de drogues et d’alcool, et à surmonter leurs problèmes.

« L’Armée du Salut m’a aidé à prendre conscience de tous mes problèmes médicaux et émotionnels, explique Lawrence. Au début, je n’arrivais pas à parler avec quelqu’un sans pleurer, sans compter que j’attaquais verbalement les gens. J’étais indifférent, déconnecté et incapable de faire confiance aux autres. Aujourd’hui, je ne suis plus cet homme. »

Lawrence a réussi le programme, et cela fait presque un an qu’il ne consomme plus d’alcool et de drogues.

« J’aimerais devenir conseiller en traitement de la toxicomanie, affirme Lawrence. Je prie quotidiennement pour le Centre, car, grâce à son personnel, je ne suis plus la même personne. On m’a sauvé la vie. »

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